Are you watching?

Oh, the DRAMA!!!

The claws are out and it's not pretty!  Last night's episode was "the most dramatic ever!"  I tell you what...those girls are kooky!  And mean!  There was some serious back-stabbing last night and some of it worked and some of it backfired.  

The first date went to Stephanie and it was a day at the beach.  I am still not sure that Stephanie is not a Stepford Bachelorette.  She still seems too perfect and Pollyanna for me.  I do have to admit that her reaction to seeing her daughter and the tackle on the beach did bring tears to my eyes as well as Jason's.  It was a touching moment but all I could think about was that she was going to have to send her away again.  Listen, separating yourself from your child voluntarily takes a certain something that I am not sure I have.  I didn't feel any chemistry between them either but I was impressed with Jason's interaction with Stephanie's daughter.  It is pretty obvious that he is a great father.  She got a rose, but there was no kissing.  (BTW - how can I get one of those Lego roses?  That was cool!)

The second date was a group date where Jason and the "ladies" made plaster busts of, well, their busts.  The girls were troopers, maybe a little too eager.  I am not sure that I would strip down and let a man that I hadn't even kissed put plaster on my boobies.  Yikes!  It was for a great cause - Breast Cancer awareness - and they all turned out beautiful and unique.  Again, the most chemistry was between Jillian and Jason.  She is so at ease and cool and their talks always seem effortless.  She got the rose for the evening.  I am still undecided about Megan.  She is so mean and condescending to the other girls and then thinks that everyone is picking on her.  Nikki has put her crazy on and gets crazier every time she opens her mouth.  She told Jason that she is a bit of a neat freak.  I think she scared him when she was explaining how her toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash all have to be lined up just right.  She also gets the award for the most awkward kiss of the evening.  I thought they were going to knock each other out - she zigged, he zagged.  It was painful to watch.  

The last date was the "Pretty Woman" date.  Natalie, who is the most superficial of all the girls, was chosen for this date and it suited her to a T.  Jason flocked her with over a million dollars worth of diamonds and she was more excited about them than the Grand Canyon below.  "Look at the reflections of the diamonds in the helicopter window!"  He was taken by her beauty but not impressed with her brains.  She was pissed when he didn't give her the rose and sent her packing.  The reaction of the ladies at the house when the production assistant came and got her bags was distressing.  Get a hold of yourselves, ladies!  Do not squeal with delight at another woman's heartbreak.  No class!

The cocktail party was a mess from Shannon, the tooth Nazi, puking to Lauren throwing everyone under the bus.  Natalie had told Jason when she was leaving that there were girls there that were just mean.  She didn't name names but the mere mention had the girls scrambling for position.  Lauren was the only one who stepped up and named names and in the end, Jason kept Megan and sent home Erika and Kari.  I had completely forgotten about Kari, she was just a non-issue.  

I am still rooting for Jillian with Melissa a close second.  When are they going to bring back Deanna?  I need me some more drama!!!

Foto Friday

He had a dream...

Mmmmm, Robin

The Bachelor - Episode 2

Bubba and I are hooked, but I think for different reasons.  He loves to gaze upon the many boobies that are hanging out in different directions from all the ladies dresses.  Secretly, I think he also likes the drama but he will never admit it out loud.  I watch because this Bachelor seems to be the real deal and throw in a private concert with Robin Thicke - yummy!  

Last night, Jason got a little loose lipped.  He was kissing everybody!  If Chris Harrison had asked he probably would have kissed him!  I was totally rooting for the kiss between Jason and Jillian - I think they have made the best connection so far and she is my favorite.  Bubba was all over the blimp and oysters thing between Jason and Melissa.  First of all, kudos to Melissa for being a trooper and eating that oyster...yuck!  Bubba, I love you but...no.  Giant gob of slimy snot sliding down my throat with Tabasco on it...no, thanks!  Melissa and Jason shared a sweet kiss and she is definitely moving up on the list.  Molly wins the most creative award for getting him to kiss her by telling him it was her secret talent.  I was surprised that three girls didn't get a date with Jason.  I think that is a bit unfair and created one of the most uncomfortable moments on last night's show.  Raquel snuck into Jason's limo after his group date and demanded one on one time.  Jason is so sweet, but he better not play poker because you can read him like a book.  Needless to say, Raquel did not get a rose.  Lisa bowed out of the whole shebang gracefully, using the "My grandmother is sick" excuse that I have used many times to get out of unwanted dates.  So that left only two ladies who wouldn't receive a rose.  I was hoping the Jason would see Tooth Nazi, Stalker Extraordinaire Shannan for the wacko she is and let her go but sadly, the ABC producers got to him and convinced him to keep her around for another day.  You know, ratings and all that.  I also could live without Erica.  I think she has no class and is too immature for Sesame Street much less for step-motherhood.  Again, producers...In the end, the two that didn't receive a rose were Raquel and Sharon.  Sharon is really a non-issue.  She quit her job to go on this show and that is about all you know about her.  She is mousy and really not a standout.  He obviously felt that too and let her go.  Hope her boss will give her her job back!    

Now, just for the pure drool factor...

Five Gallons of Fun?

It has been a tragic week here at the Cheeze household.  Santa gave BoyBoy a fish tank for Christmas with a gift card to the local pet store to pick out his fish.  He was so excited to set up his tank and then waited patiently for the recommended 24 hours to go get the fish.  We went to the store and he was careful not to overspend.  He picked out 4 guppies, two blue and two orange (shocker!), a small African Dwarf frog, and a snail.  We brought them home, along with some foliage and a Roman ruin tank statue and set them free in their new environment.  Names were considered - Speedy for the snail because he covered some serious ground that first day, Bounce the frog, Cavalier for one of the blue guppies, Gator for the other, Wahoo for one of the orange fish and the last one remained No Name until we could find a suitable name.  BoyBoy was careful to feed them regularly (maybe too regularly according to the fish guy at the store) and, in all his computer expertise, decided to start a blog about his aquarium.  Five Gallons of Fun was born and he was all set to document the lives of his new pets.  Then, tragedy struck...

No Name started listing on his side and quickly went to the big fish pond in the sky.  He was followed quickly by Gator.  I ran an emergency trip to the pet store where it was determined that they had died of ick and we needed to treat the tank immediately to save the rest of the fish.  Antibiotics were started and fingers were crossed.  Wahoo and Cavalier seemed to rally and we thought we had diverted a disaster.  We were wrong.  Cavalier lost his will to live the next day and Wahoo hung in there for one more after that.  

A moment of silence for our beloved fish...

So, it is with much hope and a lot of prayer that we have started over.  We restarted the tank with only Bounce and Speedy and we will wait a week and have the tank tested before we introduce any fish.  I don't know if BoyBoy will continue his blog.  He was devastated to say the least and is hesitant about getting his hopes up.  Bubba and I kept telling him that it was okay to say "This SUCKS!"  We don't normally encourage this type of language however, we felt that this situation warranted it.  Four fish dying in three days...SUCKS!  BoyBoy kept saying, "No, its ok, I don't need to say that."  And then, on day three, when he woke up to Wahoo floating on his side, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "FISH SUCK!!!!"  

Wish us luck...

Sunny days, chasing the clouds away...

Deb over at Postcards from the Edge is having a Sesame Street Sing Along and I foolishly agreed to play along.  You have to list 10 of your favorite things, but they have to start with a certain letter (assigned to you by the blog owner).  I got the letter "O".  (Thanks, a lot, Deb!)  If you want to play along, comment and let me know! 

 I'll assign you a letter.  I promise to be nicer to you than Deb...no Q's or X's to be found!

Here I go, in no particular order:

Oreo Cakesters

What's not to love?

Oceans

The smell, taste and state of mind that comes from being near the ocean

Oscar Meyer Weinermobile

Seriously, who doesn't love a weinermobile?

Orgasms

This should probably be # 1

Lil' Oster Mini Food Processor

The best for chopping all your mini foods

Overseas

Lived there for 6 years and loved all the travel and history

Orange and Blue

Go, Wahoos!  Go, Gators!  I am surprised that BoyBoy doesn't bleed these colors

Ornaments

I love Christmas and everything about it...can't have enough ornaments!

Oak Trees

The live oak trees in Virginia are some of the most beautiful (ok, might be stretching a bit here)

Orlando

Lived here for two years and would go back to live in a second

Foto Friday

Does anyone see a dog?

BCS, Blah, Blah, Blah

This is for you, Georgie!

GOOOOOOOO!!!   GATORS!!!!!

Wheezer needs...

Fun little game...type in your name and needs into google and list the funniest 10 hits. Some of these need no explanation and some are just plain funny.

Wheezer needs help - ya think?

Wheezer needs asthma medicine - how did they know that?

Wheezer needs a job - what?!? blogging in my pajamas isn't a job?

Wheezer needs a haircut - again, how did they know that?

Wheezer needs your input - ok, now this is getting creepy...

Wheezer needs viewers - really, I need followers, but I would settle for viewers

Wheezer needs advice for an upset tummy - not today, but I can always use it later

Wheezer needs your support - like an underwire bra...

Wheezer needs riders - ummm...

Wheezer needs continual evaluation - well, that just sums it up right there, doesn't it?

Bubba

4o-ahem years ago on this day, my future husband was born. He was cute, no?

He spent his formative years following his Green Beret father around with his brothers and sisters to all the corners of this great earth, wreaking havoc wherever he went.

He survived tours in Germany, Ft. Knox, Hawaii, Military School, and one ill-advised marriage before he started on the path that led him to me.

He gained his sense of humor from the hours he tormented his unwilling brothers, his kindness from his mother, his compassion from his life experiences, his steadfastness and patriotism from his father, and his patience from being the middle child of 5.

He is my rock. He is my happiness. He is my soulmate.

Happy Birthday, Bubba, I love you

I might be hyperventilating!

OMG, it has started!  I have been waiting for this for months!  And so far, it has lived up to my expectations!  I am, of course, talking about "The Bachelor."  I am a self-professed reality tv junkie and the new year begins high season.  'Tis the season for The Bachelor, American Idol, Biggest Loser, Celebrity Apprentice, Dancing with the Stars, Amazing Race, Hell's Kitchen...ooohhh, I may have just blacked out for a minute...

Anyhoo, last night was the season premiere of The Bachelor.  This season's Bachelor is Jason Mesnik, a thirty-something, single dad, estate planner, and overall cutie.  He was rejected by the last Bachelorette AFTER he got down on one knee to propose - that B@*#&!  Well, now he is back and ready for some 25 girl, cat fight, stalker, vision board, hot doggin' action!  I have been looking forward to this since he was on the Bachelorette.  I was not disappointed.  ABC has even thrown in a few twists this season that are going to make for some compelling television.  First there was the ballot box, where the girls got to "vote off" the one girl they thought didn't belong there.  Each girl had their reasons - prettier than me, not here for the right reasons, writes bad poetry - and in the end, Megan was selected as the least likely to succeed by her fellow ladies in waiting.  But, the joke was on them when Chris Harrison, "Mr. Obvious" handed her a rose and told her she was safe.  Neener, neener, neener (said with fingers in ears)!  It looks like another twist will be that the bachelorette that dumped Jason last season (who, by the way, has also dumped the guy she did chose) will be back and they are making it look like she wants him back.  I am so excited to see what other tricks ABC has up its sleeve.

Here are my favorites:  

Gillian - an interior designer from Canada, who has a theory that is right up my alley.  She says that guys who put ketchup on their hot dogs love their mom, sauerkraut guys are bad boys and mustard guys are the ones you take home to meet your mom.  Any girl who uses hot dogs to help her choose her mate is ok with me!  BTW, Bubba is an everything on it guy!  

Melissa - former Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.  She is just cute and spunky and seems fun loving and energetic.  She wasn't one of the girls who fawned over him and she wasn't overacting for his attention and she still got a rose.  Good girl!

Stephanie - widow with a 4 year old.  It has to be her story that makes me like her.  She isn't pretty to me - something about her features that reminds me of a pageant queen on speed.  But her story is heartbreaking and I can't help but cheer for her to carry on with her life.

The remaining girls didn't really impress me one way or another but from the looks of the previews, hang on, this might be a bumpy ride!  Now, quick, where is that paper bag so I can catch my breath?

New Look

I have a new look with the help of The Cutest Blog on the Block and BoyBoy, who, by the way, has taught himself how to write HTML code - scholarship...here we come!  I think it is cute and fun, like me!  

I need help from some of you seasoned bloggers out there who know what they are doing with blog layouts.  What are your best tips and secrets.  I like the computer geek part of it - I just don't know how to go about learning it.  Also, any PhotoShop tips and tricks would be appreciated as well.  Thanks, bloggie friends!

Foto Friday

Happy New Year!

2009?!?!?!

This year, I have decided to make New Year's Resolutions that I will actually have a chance of following through on.  So here goes:

1. I resolve to burn out from working out in about three weeks and return to my normal "work out when I feel like it" schedule.

2. I resolve to stay the same weight, + or - a few pounds.

3. I resolve to shop more, sleep less, and feebly attempt to recycle.

4. I resolve to wait until the laundry basket is overflowing to do laundry.

5.  I resolve to go to the beach, pet my dog, hug my son, kiss my husband and tell my entire family I love them as often as possible.

6. I resolve to drink beer, wine and iced tea.

7. I resolve to not look at my wrinkles, flabby butt, or cellulite in the mirror more than once a week.

8. One word, sex.

Happy New Year!

Coach

We have a friend who is a college football assistant coach.  We call him "Coach" ( I know - original - we're not big thinkers here)  We have tried to be loyal supporters throughout his career - even when that meant from as far away as Germany.  Now that we are back in the good ole USA, we live about an hour from where Coach coaches.  A few years ago he was hired as part of the defensive coaching team for University of Richmond - GOOOO, SPIDERRRRSSSSS!!! (that's for you, Uncle C)  

Well, Friday night, in Chattanooga, Tennessee, the Richmond Spiders beat the Montana Grizzlies to become the NCAA Division IAA National Champions!  While we were unable to go to the game, we had a Spider party and watched the game and cheered on our Coach.  It was a great game and an epic win - National Champions - how cool is that?  We had all decided that *knock wood* if they won, we would drive to Richmond to meet the plane and congratulate the team and surprise our favorite Coach.  My niece, P even made signs that said "We love Coach" and "Go, Spiders!"  We all piled into two cars and headed out only to be texted by Coach's wife that the plane had landed an hour early...oh well, we would just go straight to the sports center at the university and meet the buses.  

Coach was so surprised and proud to see us, he was speechless!  He showed the kids around the field house and all the cool nooks and crannies like the players lounge and the Hall of Fame.  Then we took him out for wings and beer.  It was great to see him.  He was still totally in surprise mode that he was one of the coaches of a National Championship team.  He was also totally amazed at his friends who have supported and encouraged him through all the years that he has been coaching.  What he doesn't realize is that we all love just a good reason to tailgate.  

Love you, Coach!

Foto Friday

Happy Birthday, Georgie!

Everyone go over to Georgie's and wish her a happy birthday!  

Hey Ya! Merry Christmas

100th Post

I can't believe it!  This is my 100th post.  I still feel like the new kid in school compared to some of you...Georgie, Jill, Amy, etc.  

I can't believe I have made it to 100.  I don't think I can list 100 things you don't know about me...my blog is an open book.  So, I thought I might do 100 things I have learned and loved about blogging.  Hold on to your knickers, ladies and gents...Here I go.

1. Always write something - sounds simple, but when I don't write my comments taper off and my Google Analytics has a sad face.

2. Analytics - I heard about Google Analytics for the first time after I had been blogging for about 6 months and now I am addicted.  Who would have known that someone found my blog by searching "Miss Germany Foto"  Boy, they must have been disappointed.

3. Anonymous commenters - Bubba is my steadfast reader, so is my niece - neither one has learned how to leave a comment as anything other than "anonymous" and I love my annony comments!

4. AmyBoBamy - Girlfriend, you are funny! I especially like your Friday Funnies!

5. Bubba - loves to read my blog and has only once gotten angry at what I have written.

6. BoyBoy - another reader and continuous supplier of content.  He is the funniest kid I know and never ceases to amaze me.

7. Blog friends - All my greatest, funniest, and most reliable friends live in my computer!

8. Back to Barnwell - Is it possible to live vicariously through a 22 year old self-professed slacker?  (and I use that term with much admiration!)

9. Comments rock - I didn't have my first comment until my 3rd month of blogging and that was from Bubba (see above re: anonymous commenters).  The first comment I had from a non-family member was like the first day of Kindergarten...a whole new world opened up to me.

10. Content counts - Don't post something just to have a post for that day...sometimes it is better to post nothing than to leave your followers scratching thier head and wondering why I forgot to take my med.

11. Cool giveaways - while I haven't done a giveaway here on my blog yet, I have participated (but not won - HELLO!  Can't someone throw me a bone?) in many.  Someday I hope to take home that coveted Etsy necklace.

12. Deb - We have all hung from the edge and laughter has brought us back...thanks, Deb

13. Don't try to post daily - you will run out of things to say the first week.

14. Do carry a notebook - you never know when a blog post will pop up in front of you at the grocery store.

15. Dooce - the mother of all mommy-bloggers.  She has reached the pinnacle of blogdom - she makes enough money on her blog for her husband to quit his job!

16. Etsy - I first heard of this on Dooce and now I am helplessly addicted.  Geesh, someone stage an intervention!

17. Facebook - Seriously, can you all please stop throwing snowballs at me?!?  I can't possibly return them all and, since I was raised in the south, I would be upsetting my Mama by not promptly returning a favor - and I am not going to write you all thank you notes, either!

18. Foto Friday - I had seen where several bloggers were doing Wordless Wednesday and I didn't want to steal their idea, so I came up with Foto Friday - who cares if it is the same idea, just a different day.

19. Georgie - Deb's partner in crime and the co-inventor of the Secret Santa Soiree.  The SSS is the reason that I have more than 2 followers.

20. Happy Hour Sue - no one can make the most of too much time on her hands like Sue.  I am an avid follower of BG and his shorties.  

21. JillJillBoBill - maybe the funniest bloggers out there.  I find myself in awe of her life, laughter, and outlook.  She is my hero!

22. Laughter is the best medicine, but sometimes tears can cleanse the soul.  I have learned that I don't have to be funny all the time and sometimes it is ok to bare my soul.  

23. The Mom - She taught me that blogging is indeed cheaper than therapy and a laugh a day keeps the men in white suits away!

24. McMommy - In my next life, I want to come back as the McMommy - she's cute, she has an adorable husband and even more adorable kids, she is an hysterical writer and a talented photographer - dammit!  I hate her!

25. Nate and Jaclyn Kaiser - this husband/wife photography team has given me regular "eyerections" with their amazing, beautiful, and unique style.  

Ok, that's enough - I know it is only 25% of what I was supposed to do - I suck at lists, sue me.  If I think of anymore, I will just use them as blog content and entertain you all!  Thanks for being loyal followers!  I couldn't do it without you!

um...Foto Sunday?

Secret Santa Soiree

I shipped my Secret Santa Soiree package today...teehee!  I love a good surprise!  I hope my Secret Santa loves everything as much as I loved getting it all together!

Sweet Home Florida?

Although this might contradict what you have read here before...

GO GATORS!

Foto Friday

Op Santa

Because I love Christmas and everything about it, I am working for a small non-profit organization here that brings Santa into underprivileged children's homes on Christmas morning.  I have worked for them before and, other than the budget constraints that always plague small non-profits, it was a great experience.  The look on those children's faces on Christmas morning when Santa walked in the door was more than priceless and worth all the headaches.  

We provide them with a sturdy play/school outfit, a winter coat, if they need it, and shoes, if needed.   Another group donates the toys, another the toiletry items, one group is doing school supplies, another gives socks and underwear and we always provide them with an age appropriate book.  Sometimes, we are even able to give bikes and helmets to the kids.

Today, we had our shopping day for clothing.  There is a local department store that lets us in before the store opens to shop, unhindered, for clothes for 50-75 kids each year.  They give us the best sale price of the season, box up each outfit and coat, and supply us with rolls of wrapping paper for us to wrap them.  Now, as the coordinator for this event, I am pretty organized in order to make the shopping go as smoothly as possible.  I print out a sheet with each child's name, age, sex and all their sizes.  The store supplies us with shopping bags that I staple the sheets to and each elf just has to fill up a bag.  There are elves who have shopped with us for many years.  They know how it works and are worker bees who come ready to roll and can usually shop for 3-4 kids at a time.  Then there are the elves who should just sit in the corner and color.  You know the ones...they need help with every little detail, they are out of touch with what a 7 year old girl would like (even though on the sheet it says "loves pink and Hannah Montana"), and they think that a white winter coat is a good idea.  The ones that you wish would just volunteer to be wrapper elves or delivery elves.  When these elves arrive, it takes them 45 minutes to shop for one child.  Our veteran elves can shop for 20 kids in 45 minutes.  It is not rocket science, people.  It is a sweatshirt and jeans.  It is a hoodie and cargo pants.  Brain surgery?  No.  I mean, I did shoes for all 50 kids in one hour, BY! MY! SELF!  

Whew, I feel better.  Wait, was that out loud?

So, now the fun can begin...wrapping, organizing, sorting, mapping, and delivering.  It will all be worth it when Santa walks in on Christmas morning with his herd of elves and sack full of presents.  Oh, those beautiful children's faces!  

Ho!  Ho!  Ho!