Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Wondering...

What is it about people that makes them think it is okay to attack someone in an email? I have had a rough week on email and I am wounded to my soul. Details are not important, just that there was an event where people were recognized for things that they do and some folks were offended that they didn't get recognized. They took this opportunity to attack me personally and proceed to tell me how wrong I was, how rude I am, how worthless I am, and what a failure I am. They also proceeded to tell me that the organization that I am a part of was also wrong, rude, worthless, and a failure. Bubba wanted to author the response himself and tell this person exactly where to take her attack. He is always my biggest fan and supporter and he did not like this attack on my character one bit. He wanted to know where this person's spouse worked, and for whom. I told him that I have never worn or used his rank, ever and I wasn't going to start now. He proved that he was the right man for me when he said, "You've got to start sometime!" Yes, 12 months before retirement might be as good a time as any to start wearing his rank, but....

I don't know how to respond to this person. I admit that I am hurt by her tirade. I am not the type of person who can let something like this roll off her back. My back is velcro for stuff like this. I will now proceed to carrying it around on my back for, like, the rest of my life. I don't carry a grudge, I carry the pain. I know that these things are supposed to make me stronger but, doggoneit, I believe I am strong enough now, stop the madness!

I will get through this... I always do. But, it has changed me and I hate that. I will not be as naive, not as innocent, not as trusting. And I may never volunteer for a leadership position again. And that is the greatest tragedy of this whole situation.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Something that really struck me in your post here is when you said, you are like velcro when it comes to carrying pain and not necessarily a grudge. I can totally relate to you. WOW! I just went through the loss of what I thought were a group of friends and their true colors came out when I confronted them about something (after mulling that around in my mind for over a month, I am not very confrontational) in a very discreet way. It has been 5 months since the incident and still to this day I am grieved almost to the point of depression at times. I too have a great hubby who helps to cheer me up from it though so that is good. Those type of people usually have no class and really don't have the integrity enough to care about others and their feelings. Just keep reminding yourself that you didn't do anything wrong and some people in this world are just unhappy and horrible and there is nothing we can do to change that. It doesn't make you a bad person you just happened to run into them and you are feeling the effect of their negativity. Think of the things & people you love and the wonderful blessings you have those things always seem overshadow the icky people that have caused hurt and pain.HUGS!