Thursday, May 22, 2008

I hate leaving...

There, I said it...I . Hate . Leaving .

We have started the long process of making sure we see everyone to say goodbye before we leave. I have gotten into the habit of not saying 'Goodbye' but 'See you later!' With the military community being as small as it is, I have come to know that I will indeed see them later. Case in point, we are having a reunion this fall of folks that we knew back before Bubba and I got married. We will get together and it will be like no time has passed. That is one of the things I love about our life. Even though we might not stay in touch like we would like to, we can always pick up our friendship as though we just saw each other yesterday. But, I digress.

Leaving. We should be used to it by now. And I should be looking forward to leaving this time since we are going where we want to go and retirement is around a not-so-distant corner. But, I am not. I hate the saying goodbye, the pulling up shallow roots, the vacating of a home, the leap into unfamiliarity. I hate knowing that some of the friends I have made will always be Germany Friends, not lifelong friends. Not because they aren't special to me because I truly treasure every friendship I have been blessed with, but because they are just the type of friendships that pass through our lives. They are friends with an 'use by' date. We will eventually lose touch and that makes me a bit sad. I also hate closing the door on our home for the last time, knowing all the memories that are shut up inside that house. It was our home for a time...that is what we make of it. I lived in only two houses before I met Bubba and my parents still live in one of them. Those two houses are my childhood homes. The homes I have made with Bubba and Boyboy are in our hearts...we will always have our memories of those houses and may even visit them at times but the memories we made inside those houses are the true homes. And, finally I hate the uncertainty and unfamiliarity of what lies ahead. New experiences, new neighbors, new schools, churches, grocery stores are all adjustments. I am not good at change...I adapt slowly.

So, in short...I hate leaving.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Aunt Wheeze---You are a beautiful writer...Love, Aunt S.