Monday, September 15, 2008

It might be war...

I haven't decided whether to wage war on the squirrels in the backyard yet or not.  We have two pecan (pronounced pee-can - I am from the South) trees in our backyard and several hundred industrious squirrels (I promise...I have counted).  They are not at all concerned about the four-legged, squirrel crazed,  furry lightening bolt that tends to come flying out of the side porch.  Yes, they will scurry up the nearest pee-can tree but only far enough that she can't reach them by jumping.  And, boy can she jump...witnessWhen she is not in the back yard it is like a squirrel dance party.  They are lying around, picking up pee-cans and sitting on their cute little butts, nibbling like they own the place.  When Lightening McMelly roars into the backyard, they run up the nearest tree and chuck pee-cans at her head.  They have no respect.  

Now normally, they wouldn't bother me.  I do think they are a bit cute and it is funny how they torment Melly with all the evilness of a two year-old little sister.  But, they are ruining my backyard!  I can't walk across the yard without shoes on and since I am from the South, barefoot is my preferred footwear for the summer.  All those half-eaten, half-chewed pee-cans littering the ground and my sweet little feets are hurtin'.

My mom has graciously offered to loan me her squirrel trap.  See, I come from a long line of anti-squirrel card holding party members.  She personally wages war every Spring with her traps and takes them to the local park to release them.  Yes, she is a pacifist warmonger.  I believe that the squirrels, in their infinite, conniving intelligence know the way back to Mom's house and she has caught the same 3 squirrels over and over.  Since she refuses to spray paint their tails pink, we will never know.  

I do know that there is one squirrel who will not be returning to my back yard...he took a detour that he shouldn't have taken and now has been doing his best bat impression for the last week.


He even survived Hurricane Hanna up there so maybe he is on to something.  Now, if I could only get his buddies to take the same detour...

2 comments:

The Mrs. said...

You need some chickens. Seriously. and ground hogs. big ol ground hogs. they apparently out rank the squirels around here. Our squirels see either one of them heading towards them and they just take off up the tree and its days till they come back down. Now that being said, I have chickens and ground hogs bigger then my three year old running loose on my lawn so whos to say I'm any better off.

jill jill bo bill said...

That is hilarious! I'm not a big fan of squirrels either. Maybe you should put some fliers out advertising a squirrel shoot and make a little dough on the side. Don't us Southerner's eat squirrels? I'm sure they taste like chicken...or ground hogs.