Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Oh, no he didn't!

Last night's Bachelor was one for the record books.  The first walk of shame, the most inappropriate kisses,the highest note ever hit in a drama and the first NOT to give out all the roses...Total chaos and entertainment!  I loved it!

The ladies had to sing a self-written love song to Jason in order to win the one-on-one date.  The songs we all equally terrible but the award for most terrible has to go to Stephanie.  As we say in the South, bless her heart, she gave it her best pageant queen try, but that falsetto, operatic screech fest topped off by a note that I think dogs in Nova Scotia heard and are still barking at was nothing short of disastrous (how's that for a run-on sentence?).  Nikki had an emotional breakdown that was nothing short of snot producing.  She eventually pulled herself together and screeched out a song to her future children.  Way to step out of your comfort zone and outside the parameters of the task.  You were supposed to sing to Jason...Anyhoo, Molly was chosen for the one-on-one date which turned out to be the most non-date ever.  They ate cheeseburgers and french fries on the floor at Jason's pad and then made s'mores over the fire pit in the backyard.  Now, I like this date.  More like real life and less like Hollywood.  One of my biggest problems with the "dream" dates is that they are so unrealistic.  Natalie was confused last week because Jason kept saying "This is the best date I have ever been on!" and she thought he was talking about her and not the private jet to Vegas, or the helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon, or the dinner in the 5 star restaurant.  No wonder she was confused.  This date in Jason's backyard was more like a real date where two people actually get to talk to each other and learn if they can get along with out a TV or Robin Thicke playing in your living room.  Obviously, Jason thinks he can and gave Molly the rose and they spent a moanful night inside the pup tent in his backyard.  She made history by returning to the house in his clothes the next morning, the first walk of shame in Bachelor history.  I did think it was a little tacky of her to tell all the other girls how she had gotten no sleep and then kept repeating it for dramatic effect...none, at all, up all night, so tired, blah, blah, blah.  Classy, babe.

The next date was the group date where the girls and Jason went on the set of General Hospital and were given scripts and sleazy outfits to get into character.  I had to stop counting at all the times Jason was kissed.  It was rather embarrassing.  Shannon, Tooth Nazi, made a total fool out of herself, following him around like a lovesick puppy stalker and planting an awkward kiss on him.  However, the most inappropriate kiss award goes to Megan.  She was dressed in a slinky black negligee and when she went in for the kiss she may as well have put on a diving mask and flippers she dove so far down poor Jason's throat.  Totally, uncomfortable and inappropriate and YUCKY!  The wrap party was just a sob fest with girl after girl weeping to Jason about how hard it was to watch him kissing other girls.  BooHooHoo...isn't that what you signed up for?  He was honest with everyone he talked to with the exception, I think, of Naomi.  He gave her the classic brush off line of "I want the best for you, whether it's with me or not."  Note to Naomi - he's just not that into you.   However, he gave her the rose for the group date just to lead her on for one more week.  

The most painful thing to watch on many levels was the two-on-one date.  Stephanie and Nikki were selected for this date knowing that one of them was going home at the end.  I was betting on Nikki due to her lack of spontaneity and control freakism.  But I was also hoping (as was Bubba) that he would send Stephanie home, too.  She just scares me.  Anyhoo, awkward date gets awkwarder when a lady comes in and teaches them how to waltz.  Now, I'm no Paula Abdul or Ginger Rogers, but both Nikki and Jason have no rhythm and it was like watching two people dance in super slow motion.  Stephanie further Stepfordized herself when she declared that she was once a ballet teacher.  She whooshes in and attempts to sweep Jason across the dance floor but his cement feet won't allow it.  Eventually, Jason decides to give the rose to Stephanie (maybe he likes opera?) and sends Nikki home.  Stephanie showed the most class when Jason returned from saying goodbye to Nikki and she asked him if Nikki was okay.  She truly is a class act.  

So, for the most shocking rose ceremony ever, Jason decided that he couldn't give out the final rose.  I say, good for him!  Let's not lead another girl on for one more week if I can crush her spirit now.  Tooth Nazi sealed the crazy deal when her last words to the camera were "I can't wait to get home to my toothbrush and french kiss my dog."  And that is why you didn't get a rose.  Jillian didn't get much face time in this episode and Bubba and I decided it is because she is much more mature and not such a drama queen as all the other girls.  She is still my favorite but even I can't deny the chemistry between Jason and Melissa.  He was all over her at the cocktail party and was so sweet to her at the same time.  She is pulling up a close second.  The rest are just being kept there for the drama...so, the final five are Jillian, Melissa, Stephanie, Naomi and Molly.  

Off to Seattle!


Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Good Summary! I am so glad the tooth nazi is gone. I hope she enjoys french kissing her puppy because after being on TV that is probably the only thing that will kiss her for awhile.

Jillian is the most level headed and mature of the bunch but I just think he is into Melissa more. GO MELISSA! Can't wait to see what DeAnna adds into the mix.

Under the Influence said...

She's not just a tooth nazi - she's a crazy ass stalking tooth nazi!

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jill jill bo bill said...

I like Stephanie. I know call me whacky.

Julie said...

I like Stephanie too but there is NO chemistry between them. She's more like "Single Parent Buddy" to him than anything else.

Thank God Shannon is home sucking face with her dog. She grossed me out BEFORE that comment, I cant' tell you what I think of her now!

I stand by my assessment that Melissa gets the ring.

♥georgie♥ said...

I still cant believe i missed the bachelor Mon nite....we had our own drama going on around here yiyiyiyi boys lol